The !@#$ man begins

Lets begin with a a little quiz!!!

Who is the highest wicket taker in this QPL?
Who has the maximum sixes?
Who has the most number of ducks?
Who got angry most number of times?
Who came in Volvo the most number of times?
Who is the most beautiful lady in the competition? ;)
Who is the best umpire? ;)

You got it!!! Yes that's our now famous superhero of this QPL The !@#$ man..
Ohh am i being too critical ??..Awwwwww...Sorry Honey!! Did it hurt too bad?!! But come on guys can someone take the head off this guy (if he has one) how on earth can one call that a no-ball?? Oh yes i am talking about that famous decision of his last week. After all the hungama he created with his 'in' or 'out' game, he started manufacturing rules. he DECIDES every god damn thing here. Oh is he the GOD particle of QPL or what?
But i must confess i like this guy!! he is making it interesting for me. he is all inspiring. he wakes me up from my week long slumber. he makes me run better!! he is the item number in this family saga called QPL!!

By the way we had some interesting games last week and this week with the first bowl out and the first hatrick of QPL3!! but i must say it was a pain in @#$ to see bowlers struggling to hit the stumps in that bowl out. Even Sidhu paaji's grand mom would have hit the stumps much before any of these #$@$@$@$!!
And now in these final few games,its all upto the champions to ensure they come in top3 with NAAS almost through with their clinical bowling today against this amazingly funny batting side of swirls ( oh yeah thats what i want to call them) and Spartans and Avengers vying for the other spot along with champs.
2 teams which are eliminated already are however my favourite teams. Swirls for the spirit they bring to the game with their captain not so cool leading the way (did you see him not appeal for a catch today after it hit the square leg umpire!?) and last and also the least the warriors. I feel depressed as i write their name here. I somehow get the image of an old war veteran struggling with his bows and arrows in a battlefield full of howitzers when i see them...respect!! guys.. but sorry got to shoot you dead!!!

Magic of the max zone

Inzy hitting the telugu superstar over the boundary ropes( where the hell was the rope??;)) and junior mallya's depressed look after they lost to the defending champions by a whisker summarized the first day with 2 very closely fought matches. while the champions showed why they are one by defending successfully with 8 required off the last over, the team which is not even close to a 'swirl' but calls itself tornedoes, gave away 10 off the first 4 with Inzy's team having just one wicket to defend.

Personally the highlight for me was my prediction about the FV coach coming true ;) But come on guys what the $%^& are the organisers doing? While they have a rule for no-balling a bowler using 2 steps to bowl to a female player, they apparently have no rule to bar people from jumping in and out of the squads as long as they have the t-shirts of suitable size !! I just imagined Gary Kirsten wanting to play in the next test at Headingley ;)
Oh! the rules did i say? Am sure David Copperfield will kill himself to see that ridiculously 'magical' rule of runs doubling for guys and quadrupling for female players when hit through the Max zone which by the way is so small that it can be guarded by a kid !!  and the best part is there is no magic in the air( for dumb heads, its not applicable for sixes because they have no way of figuring out if a ball crosses that magic line in the air or not lolz!) i am however very curious to see how many times this magic will be performed this QPL ;)


PS: I also heard people talk about the length my last post which put even Karan Johar to shame.I have also been advised by my lawyers not to write anymore untill OC settles my dues from last season. come on you liars %#$%^ give me my stuff!!!

the auction hoax and other stories

After a dormant first half of the year and a bad quarter of cost cutting, there is finally some activity in here. Yes the season 3 of QPL is just around the corner. And my friend ikickfakeqgpplayersass's proposal for QCL has seen a lukewarm response and QPL is here to stay!! That's what the organizing committee likes to believe in at least

In their shabby attempt at trying to appease the disgruntled souls in some quarters of TCVL, the organizers have decided to have one more team from TCVL this year!! This looks like a desperate attempt by TCVL strategists to keep the defending champions away from the title. This could also be an attempt by the former player turned self-appointed coach turned self-appointed current captain of second team to revive his falling career. For me this only means more matches, more corruption, more shit($#%&) in fact it already started couple of months ago when organizers announced unofficially that this year we would have auctions. While it seemed fair to some, it looked interesting to few. But the idea died a prolonged death with none of the organizers being able to figure out how to do it!!lol

The defending champions' zeal for practicing twice a day is seen more as lack of work than the passion to retain the trophy. This time they are without their premier all-rounder Albie Morkel and that surely will hurt them more than missing their player turned coach who in all probability would end up playing in the tournament.

Wait..hold on..did i just see a wicked pattern here??

2 Players turned coaches turning back into players? Is this a way of confusing opposition or are they confused themselves? Or is it their smart stupid way of getting the lost place in the team? In all fairness to Pietersen, i must say he is the lone spinner of 'quality' in the entire ‘Q’GP or at least he claims so ;)

In his come back year, Inzy has finally managed to put up a team. It would be interesting to see how he manages the former captain Raj who is one of their mainstays in batting. We know what happened to Pakistan when they had 5-6 former captains in their team. There are questions about the team's strategy to practice in the afternoons. Have they missed a trick? I hope they wouldn’t be like an Indian team in New Zealand struggling to cope with the early morning movement ;) One of the brighter aspects for them is having the Lady Messi in their side.

NAAS have a good news with the arrival of a new star who (apparently plays for SAP cricket team) will join the good old curly haired all-rounder to make the team stronger than ever before.  However the big question is around Appu raja who got engaged recently and has not been included in the team. Even if he had played, it would have been a tough ask to translate the success of his much celebrated Maama Moushi onto a different stage now. But the best news for the team comes from the lady powerhouse aka lady dilshan who, with her brilliant pallu shots outscored all the male members of her team in the practice matches.  Watch out for your heads guys

SPI warriors apparently are banking on the return their overseas player to give them the much needed stability in batting. But i have my doubts about his match fitness as he has been away for 6 months now and would need time to get back his silky touch. He might also need to reconsider the strategy of 'trying' to bowl the Gayle like toe crushers. Junior Mallya however remains confident of a good show this time around, though he has no big scores to show for himself going into the tournament. They also have the distinction of being the only team to play a management person in their team. It’s all up to her now to disprove the notion that managers can’t be agile and lean..ooops..No pun intended..

I must say that i am confused with the strategy of splitting the TCVL teams into 2. Is it a strategy? conspiracy? Or wilting under pressure of rebels?. But the important question are they strong enough to be independent? I hear stories of captains fighting for players. I even saw a spec of blood on the wall separating the 2 captains ;) Ohh that reminds me..Did you see that both the captains are from PTC? Did you also notice the new spectacle frame of the tallest man on the floor? That looks too decent. I would have liked a Aditya Chopra kind of a frame for him ;)

DevD is nowadays is going gaga over " Chadi mujhe yaari teri aisi Jaise daaru desi.." as a tribute to his ‘local desi bar’  and can be seen humming it in the rest room..We need to do seriously do a drug test on him before every match to monitor the levels ;) One another guy who needs to be examined is the Spartans captain the gym man who has started playing mind games with the oppositions with his angry looks which typically are given out in generous amounts before and after the gym sessions. I also heard he has taken the 'part time work' option to accommodate his gym schedules.

Both the teams have issues of their own. While one looks heavy on batting and bowling another looks heavy on nothing ;) Injury to Austin is a serious concern for the Spartans  and getting people to practice is a headache for tornadoes ( by the way I hate this name) And as for girls, Inzy's wife is back too this time with more vigor. She is seen practicing on the floor and the field like a woman possessed. Am sure many of us are looking forward to the sight of Inzy bowling to his wife. I am too. Out of cheap curiosity :) but come on, these are the things which spice up a tournament which is so low on the glamor quotient with no jazzy cheer girls or even cheer boys for that matter.

The organizers seemed to have got their cuts already and did not even bother to send a mail until this afternoon. They met in one of those translucent discussion rooms yesterday and I could hear them discussing the exchange rates for dollar and euros. They have conveniently slept over many open questions..

Will the pitch favor the lefties? Will it rain ? If it does will they go for D/L or give Jayadevan a chance ? How on earth could they decide to have all the scorers from FV? why are they having an ‘exhibition’ match before the finals? Is it to get a 'Management buy in' or a poor attempt to please hale simhagalu.. oops.. hale huligalu (old tigers ;)) ?

Babu Moshai...
Jeetna aur haarna sab
OC ke haath mein hain..
hum sab QPL mein katputliya hain
Jinke dor organisers ke haath mein hain
Kaun kab kaise khelega, kaun kiska catch chodega
yeh koi nahin bata sakta
ha ha ha....

RIP RK

I am sure everyone agrees that this was the worst attempt at paying tribute to the first superstar of Bollywood through QPL. RK doesn’t deserve this. Not from QPL for sure.

PS: It’s been 2 QPLs 22 posts and they still haven't figured who i am 8o|